That moment when you realize you had a typo in your self-promotional Christmas card that you sent to a hundred of your friends, family, and colleagues...
I'm pretty embarrassed, humiliated, and upset about my mistake. To put it in perspective, it's like a baker using salt instead of sugar, or a carpenter installing the hinges backwards on a door, or a dog walker that returns a dog to the wrong house. It's bad.
I obviously didn't check my spellcheck twice.
I've read that one of the things you should do after you make a mistake is first, apologize (sorry mom!), then find a way to fix it. Well, all of my cards are out in the mail and even *international* so there's no redacting the typo. I'm not going to send a second postcard to point out my mistake. The best thing I can do is own up to it, and I'm choosing to do that and write a little about what I've learned.
A colleague of mine once gave me some advice about mistakes: allow yourself to feel bad about it for five minutes, then move on. Let me tell you, I spent my entire thirty-minute commute this morning feeling bad about it and trying to find ways and imagining scenarios in my head to make up for my blunder. I just feel so down about it. It honestly sucks.
The thing about me is that I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. Everyone does. I'm human and I am a doofus. It's not an excuse though.
But the other thing is that I'm trying. I'm putting myself out there - trying to get a side-hustle going. I mean, I'm unmarried, without children and pets, I am not a homeowner - I can't send out holiday cards like my friends with photos of their beautiful families or letters telling about my yearly accomplishments. I can't do that.
I do have something though. What I have is not material: I am talented. I am an artist. I have my own website with a blog that I try to write in about all sorts of topics. I try to be funny. I try to DIY when I cannot buy. I try to be a good partner and friend. I try to be present in my own life. I try to recycle all of my wine bottles. I'm trying to be a better graphic designer. I have great friends who point out my mistakes not to be unkind, but to help me learn and grow.
With all of this trying that I do, it's not surprising that I fail. I fail often. This is probably not the last time that I do fail. The thing that makes me unique is that when I fail, I'm not afraid to admit that I messed up and I'm going to keep moving forward.
I'm apologizing for being a dum-dum that didn't use spellcheck and was in such a hurry to get my cards out in time that I basically shot myself in the foot. But I sure as hell am not apologizing for putting myself out there and attempting to be a boss bitch.
So, here's to starting the new year making mistakes, learning from them, and prospering.