So I turned 30 this weekend. And 30 is an awfully big number - it kind of snuck up on me! To celebrate, I hosted a little 1950s/1960s mid-century cocktail party and invited my closest friends! I sent out invitations, stocked my bar, and even had little party favors to end the night. A lot of people came and dressed up and we laughed and had a blast - I truly have some great friends. It was an amazing way to ring in my next decade! Scroll down to read more about my party and see some vintage photos taken with my new Instax Mini (thanks Ricky!).
But first I decided to prepare for 30 by compiling a list of...
30 Things I Learned in My 20s...
30. Learning How to Apologize: don't make excuses - everyone fucks up! Simply saying "i'm sorry" is hard, but it won't kill ya.
29. Depression is nothing to be ashamed about and it happens to everyone - seek help and talk to someone.
28. Don't make yourself an option or put your goals on the back-burner.
27. By the time you're 30, you should know specifically how you take your: Eggs, Liquor, Orgasms, and Coffee.
26. Take pride in what you do - no one has the skills that you have and people are willing to pay you for what you do best.
25. Hold onto friends that make you feel like you're at home - and make brunch a priority.
24. Things are only scary the first time you do them. Take risks and make yourself uncomfortable.
23. Take any opportunity you have to travel and don't be afraid to travel alone (people will think you are mysterious).
22. People are just as anxious and self-involved as you are, so embrace your weirdness.
21. Be patient with love.
20. Your tits won't look as good as they did at 20 ever again.
19. Send letters, thank you notes, christmas cards, and gifts via mail.
18. Wear jeans that make your ass look good, don't pay attention to size tags.
17. Craft is everything.
16. Learn to listen to your intuition - it's a lesson most learn late in life or too late.
15. Your parents are REAL people & may give you some very heavy stuff to carry. Share the load. Don't take them for granted.
14. Keep a dream journal.
13. Spend some money and see your favorite band - they might be dead soon.
12. Check your ego, shut up, and listen, you don't know EVERYTHING (and I probably won't until I'm on my deathbed).
11. Know when to leave a party. Nothing good happens after 3am.
10. Don't let just anyone sleep over.
9. Delete your facebook.
8. Use your twenties to be selfish, but mindful.
7. Sometimes people don't need a solution, they just need you to listen.
6. Learn to understand your body: it will tell you clearly when you're hangry, when you're sick, or when your period is due.
5. Don't rush into things because "it's the right thing to do" or "everyone else is doing it". It is truly punk to say NO.
4. Remaining child-free during my 20s was one of the best decisions. I've grown to be better person for a future little person.
3. Be careful with what you say (still learning this).
2. Make time for yourself.
1. 30 really isn't that bad, it's just a new decade and I'm looking forward to it.
Here are some images from my Dirty Thirty Birthday Party! Enjoy!
The next morning...
I spent most of my birthday coming to terms with turning 30.
I ahem wasn't feeling at my best (REALLY feeling 30, y'all) and Ricky set up a projector in my room so we could watch some movies and nurse my hangover. The first movie I chose was The Truman Show which is a movie about a man who, in his thirtieth year, discovers that his life isn't quite what it seems. It's an awesome inspiring movie and it kind of has a message of "it's not too late" to begin your life, or even change it.
The second movie we watched was The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which is a great movie that has themes about aging (or not aging), growing, learning, love, and coming to terms with impending death. Notably, there is a scene where Cate Blanchett is in a swimming pool and watches a younger, more athletic woman swim laps and starts to break down in the pool. She tells Brad Pitt's character that she's afraid and doesn't want to get old.
That's when I lost it. I had a full-blown heaving panic attack. I suddenly started sobbing and realize that I was 30, never again able to turn back time or be a careless "twenty-something". It was a culmination of alcohol-driven guilt and anxiety about the night before, and just emotions finally coming to surface about the big THREE-OH. I had realized I am old. I am not permanent. Life is fleeting.
When I finally calmed down, I made a promise to myself: 30 isn't the end, but it sure as hell isn't the beginning and I have to grab all the chances I can to live my life to its fullest. So, here's to a new decade of new experiences and adventures!